Sensual tears pushing to flow
ache in my chest
beauty pain
oh sweet longing for connection
come here to me in this place
where I dream of another
yet only know the space
of myself

what is this intimacy with me?
only me

I dream
I fall
I cry
I laugh
I open my arms
I bare my soul
to the dark of the wild night
Save me! I exclaim
Know me hear me
that I may hear know myself

Cry, oh wretched one,
wail and rage against the demon
who haunts you

I bow at the altar
seek forgiveness for some sin
I am not guilty of yet am riddled
by
lift the burden from me
that I may know
my own true sensations
the honesty of my own perceptions

Hallowed be thy name
be my name
my true name
spoken by that which formed me into being
shaped me from dust and clay
particles of stars
breathed life into me
so I might be a shining one

Here I sit
covered in ashes
coated in grime
my star dulled
glowing underneath

Rub me raw
polish away the mire
seek no forgiveness for the force necessary
accept no more excuses
until the surface glows
reflecting the rays of a million suns
blinding those incapable of bearing
the luminosity of brilliance
the magnificence of authenticity
the resplendence of truth

I drop to sacred ground
my knees bloodied on the precious stones
I feel the solace
taste
at the back of my throat
the echo of a thousand unheard screams

I am surrendered
I am forsaken
I am known

I am forgiven
shattered
to become whole

Raine Brown
October 2017