Just like the ice on the river, I floated along, still in the middle and faster around the edges I floated well!

And then I realized

that where I really wanted to go

was under the surface.

Push me down,

I cry out…

but nothing happens.

Only the slightest tug on my heart reminding me to let go.

Let go of what?

where the last words of my mind Sighs of oh’s and ah’s took over

and my inner parts started to melt. Then my body stretched out like a cross, heart in the center,

melting life into the forgotten places, melting into the larger waters of love. Like ice on the river, slowly.

And like he did on the cross next to me, (dying into a new life)

This is not a one time deal,

this is an ongoing process

of staying alive, of becoming.

Of becoming present to what is below the surface

of who I am.

Shedding my skin over and over again on the cross like a snake. Too bad we have forgotten our own skin-making

and just remember his suffering,

(he is still on the cross)

iI almost made us sinners forever.

But now I am resting in the hand that holds us all,

for a moment,

feeling grateful for the blood pumping through my veins, the fire in my heart, the water of my ocean.

I am grateful for my presence and